I was 18 when I first started using dating apps. I was proud to be an adult now and wanted to behave like one. Anything with an age limit attached to it suddenly seemed ever so appealing. At the time, the dating app options were quite limited, so I downloaded one of the mainstream ones. Within a week, I had already double-booked my evenings. All of my dates were either uninteresting, over-attached, or slightly creepy, but little me was excited to have a laugh about it later with my friends. It was right after the first week of using dating apps that I fell in love. Offline. The at-first-sight kind of love. The I-know-this-only-happens-once-in-a-lifetime kind of love. The most beautifully unexpected kind of love. Dating apps were off the table ever again.

I wish I could end this blog here, but guess what, life screwed me over. Probably more than he screwed me over, but that’s up for debate. I’m single again, for the second time in my adult life. Last time, I was a giddy teenager excited for the real world. This time, I’m in my late twenties, worried I won’t be able to find another big love. Worried I’ll be childless and die alone. My mum told me I have to stop overdramatizing my life, so I’ll rephrase it as “an anxiety about the uncertainty of life’s uncontrollable intricacies.”

After asking the universe to send me another life-changing romantic encounter, which obviously didn’t happen, I got tired of waiting around. Yet, the idea of using my rare moments of free time to meet the uninteresting, over-attached, or creepy kind of men didn’t seem very appealing either. So I contented myself with complaining to my friends about the lack of my love life, until a friend of mine showed mercy. She spends more time at work on Reddit than what’s probably allowed, but while scouring the internet looking for other desperate singles like me, she found Chyrpe.

I was not familiar with female-led relationships before, and it intimidated me a little. I didn’t particularly envision myself holding a whip and calling someone a good boy. “Chyrpe is for dominant women, but also for the ones curious about FLR,” my friend explained to me. I was mostly sold on the fact that all profiles were verified, which made me feel a lot safer. After a few days of contemplation, on a gloomy November evening sitting alone in my bed, I finally decided to give it a try.

I download the app, Chyrpe emphasizes that I have to be respectful towards others, so far, so good. I add my gender, my name, and my birthday. Chyrpe asks me if I’m interested in men, women, or everyone. For a second, I question whether I shouldn’t abandon men altogether. I click on Men nevertheless. Next, Chyrpe asks me if I’m dominant or a switch. This one’s easier, I’m definitely a switch. I also decide to hide that information on my profile, since I’m not entirely comfortable with the subject yet. I also hide the box where I state that I’m not really that experienced (unfortunately). I’m more experienced in long-term relationships, though, which is the box I check when Chyrpe asks me what I’m looking for. Other options include short-term relationships, play sessions, virtual relationships, or a full FLR lifestyle, among others. Afterwards, I’m asked for my height and ethnicity, whether I have kids, and whether I want some. Big yes for the kids, I’m on the app to accelerate the process of finding someone to have them with. I can optionally add my job title, where I work, and where I studied. I also include my level of education, my religion, and political stance. I greatly appreciate that I can always decide whether to include this information in my profile or not. Another section focuses on smoking or drinking, which I’m not particularly fond of, so I can also state that.

The section I was most scared of comes next: the pictures. I looked through my Instagram and tried finding some photos there. My smile is something I like about myself, and I wanted to emphasize it on my profile, yet I couldn’t find a single good smiling picture. I really tried not to overthink it; one can always change the pictures afterwards and move on. A good mix of my travel photos and cringey selfies made the cut in the end. Next step: adding prompts. I looked through some prompts, but didn’t remember lots of funny things about my life, so I bragged a little about the number of countries I’ve travelled to and moved on.

With that, I completed the onboarding process on Chyrpe. But before being able to actually enter the app, face verification had to take place. I basically showed my face to the camera, the process took me a minute or so. Nervously, I accepted and the first face already surprises me…

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