Exploring a BDSM dynamic for the first time can feel equal parts thrilling and uncertain, especially in modern online dating. In this personal story from Chyrpe, the female-led dating app for dominant women and submissive men, Gwen shares how a casual chat evolved into a consensual D/s connection.
Well, things escalated quickly. I connected with Mark on Chyrpe 47 days ago. I can tell so precisely because I make him send me a good morning text every day. He obeys dutifully. We had first chatted for about a week and exchanged views on our favourite soccer team, dreams and whether churros or porras are better (porras, obviously).
A BDSM dynamic
Eventually, the conversation drifted into kinkier territory. Not abruptly, not dramatically, but naturally. Mark told me he was looking for another BDSM dynamic. He had been in a few before, both as a sub and dom, and spoke about it honestly, without fantasy-speak. For me, this was new territory. I had never had a sub before. even though the thought of having one didn’t repell me at all. The way he spoke about trust, communication, and intention gave me enough confidence to at least try.
So we started slowly. Mostly virtual, deliberately so. I asked him to do small things. Read about certain topics. Reflect on them. Dress well and send me a picture. Simple tasks, really, but charged with meaning. When he followed through, I rewarded him. Sometimes with praise, sometimes with attention, sometimes simply by letting him know I noticed.
The power of a female-led relationship
What surprised me most was how natural it felt. There was no theatrics, no pretending to be someone I am not. The dynamic wasn’t about control for the sake of control, but about structure. About him wanting to offer submission, and me learning how to receive it responsibly. About intention, not intensity.
Chyrpe made this possible because it removes the need to explain or justify these desires. There is something deeply reassuring about meeting someone who already understands that submission is not weakness and dominance is not cruelty. Forty-seven days in, I didn’t just “get myself a sub.” I stepped into a role I hadn’t fully claimed before. And I am still learning. Slowly. Thoughtfully. One good morning text at a time.
