The “alpha man” is having a cultural moment, fueled by social media algorithms that reward dominance, emotional detachment, and performative masculinity. What’s marketed as confidence and success often translates into control, rigidity and a lack of real emotional connection, especially in modern dating. This blog explores why the alpha male narrative feels increasingly out of touch, how it shapes dating expectations and why rejecting it isn’t a rejection of masculinity, but a desire for partnership, emotional intelligence and more human connection.
The “alpha male” bubble
The most interesting feature on Instagram is the section where you can check out what sort of posts your friends have liked. It almost feels intrusive to know what content they enjoy watching in their down time. It brought me quite a few revelations about my friends. One seems to be going through a break-up (I didn’t even know he was seeing someone), another one is looking at weight-loss content and my ex-boyfriend has been liking posts of extremely muscular girls in bikinis. Yet the most shocking thing I found was a good friend of mine liking posts that depict highly questionable views of masculinity.
Scrolling through those likes felt like accidentally opening a group chat you were never meant to see. The posts were all eerily similar: men talking about dominance, women being “earned” and encouragement of pushing through any sort of pain. I don’t want an alpha man, and I’m increasingly tired of explaining to people why not.
The rise of the alpha male narrative
The term “alpha man” has escaped its original roots and has been repackaged for the internet age. Today, it’s shorthand for a man who is emotionally unavailable, physically dominant, financially obsessed and perpetually performing masculinity as if it were a competitive sport. On social media, the alpha man wakes up at 5 a.m., works out, makes money, decides over the life of his wife and continues to pretend he’s an extremely successful individual.
This version of masculinity is sold as aspirational, especially to young men. It promises control in a world that feels increasingly unstable. If you follow the rules, suppress your feelings, build your body, dominate conversations and assert authority, you’ll be rewarded with respect, money and women. It’s a clean, simple formula, which is exactly why it’s so appealing. It’s also deeply limiting.
Why the alpha man ideal feels outdated
What the alpha male ideology ignores is that most people don’t want to date a brand, a mindset or a motivational quote. They want a partner. Someone who listens, adapts, changes their mind and is capable of emotional intimacy.
Men who are secure don’t need to announce it. They don’t need to put others down to feel tall. They don’t need to turn relationships into strategy games. They are comfortable with nuance, contradiction, and the fact that strength and tenderness can coexist.
What I want instead
This is exactly where Chyrpe comes in. At its core, Chyrpe isn’t built for performance masculinity or dating-as-a-power-game. It’s built for people who are tired of pretending. People who want depth over dominance and curiosity over control. On Chyrpe, attraction isn’t reduced to who leads or who submits, but to how well two people actually understand each other.
Because the truth is, algorithms may keep pushing outdated ideals of masculinity, but people are quietly opting out. They’re choosing platforms and partners that feel human again. Chyrpe exists for that exact reason: to move dating away from power struggles and back toward partnership.
So when I see those liked posts now, I don’t feel shocked anymore. I feel sad that this is still what’s being sold as the goal. And I feel clearer than ever about what I don’t want. So no, I don’t want an alpha man. And on Chyrpe, I don’t have to pretend that I do.
